Blessed Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus

Jesus H. Christ - can you please stop following me all over the place...and your mom too!

I reside in a neighborhood that is eerily dittoed throughout metro Boston. It’s a mix of middle class and blue collared folk with lots of duplex’s and single family bungalows (not many triple deckers though) - there are also a few decent Victorians and some old Colonial homes scattered about. These communities are prominent in West Roxbury, Quincy, Dedham, Medford, Watertown, Revere and just about every other outlying town. The neighborhoods are not overly gentrified - most likely because they are not on a major T-stop, adjacent to a trendy shopping district or near a major campus. These neighborhoods have lots of “Spas” - the kind that sell butts, Coke and Keno. Ahhh…the lifeblood of my ‘hood. Quite a few Grand Marquis are parked on the streets around here. But the main thing they all share in common is our Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus...

Those crazy Catholics sure have left their mark. These statues exist here as lost religious relics of simpler and holier times. I’m guessing that people looked at priests and the church a little differently back then. Of the dozens that I’ve spotted in my neighborhood it doesn’t seem like any of them are under 25 years old, and many of them must be from the 1970’s or earlier.

  

Little Miss Mary does have others in her flock, usually dudes in robes and shit. Occasionally the big guy even makes an appearance on the scene…

 

At times it’s not Mary or Jesus at all. Other forms of lawn expressionism include the jockey (white), angels, gargoyles, the glass globe, monks, donkey’s and the Buddha…but not a single garden gnome!?!?  What’s up with that – did all the creepy gnomes get stolen and go on trips around the world. Strange.

And I don’t know what this ungodly trio is up to. “Welcome” to Hell maybe… Fuggin pagans.

Occasionally Mary likes to have some friends over over for a party.  Worship me!

If Mary’s owners really really love the Mom Jesus, they’ll build her a shelter…

Or a whole friggin house (I think this one is heated)...

Mary can be found frolicking through the garden on one street…

While she might be all but abandoned in another neighborhood...

‘Merica...Fuck you!

All these photographs were taken well within a mile from my home. As soon as I crossed certain natural barriers leading to more affluent homes the icons and lawn art were quickly replaced with very well maintained shrubbery. Thus I have concluded that all wealthy people are heathens and are going to hell. Rich people make the Jesus sad...

But like the Catholic religion itself, the future of these religious icons are in doubt. I imagine that when one of these houses goes under the knife for a total makeover little Miss Mary is the first thing to hit the bottom of a rented dumpster. It’s sad to think about how many Mary’s have been lost to hipsters and their pagan ways in places like Somerville and Brooklyn – lost forever to the landfills... 

Jesus be with you (and for the record, I’m a Unitarian).  

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Bike and Hike Blog - Martin Burns Wildlife Management Area (Newbury, MA)

I was heading south back towards Boston recently and on a whim I decided to explore the Martin Burns Wildlife Management Area. I had my bike in the back of my vehicle and was aware that an old trolley line coming out of Newburyport had been converted into a rail trail. The trail runs the length of the park and is very flat, very straight and unpaved. It’s an easy ride for just about anyone - bring your bike (or the whole family) to Newpburyport, enjoy a casual ride through the woods and then have lunch in town. Now that's a formula for a perfect New England fall day!

The hilly, rocky terrain throughout much of the park is scattered with poorly drained low areas that are seasonally wet. The landscape has ebbed and flowed with the times. Ancient rock walls meander in all directions; making ghosts out of the orchards and pastures that thrived here centuries ago. Much of the area was clear-cut and then became overgrown - which resulted in a devastating fire. A large portion of the park is in a stage of rehabilitation – “In 2007 land managers began an ambitious program to create young-forest habitat, rejuvenate old-field habitats that were being over-topped with trees, and suppress exotic invasive plants in favor of food-producing native shrubs.” All this effort has created a much healthier and vibrant landscape that keeps fields open and connected to woodland areas where species like the American Woodcock (aka the Timberdoodle…hehe) is making a comeback.

As for me, the average hiker/biker, I enjoyed all the different types of fauna that resulted from these efforts. I’ve been on many a hike in woodland areas that are beautiful and peaceful, but often repetitive in nature. I don't want to see the same stupid pines trees over and over on a hike - I want swamps, lakes, streams, views, fields and all. With all the variety that this park offers, it makes for a fine place to watch plants lurch towards their death as winter approaches...

Martin Burns Wildlife Management Area is not densely packed with trails that crisscross each other all over the terrain. The trails are rarely marked and some of them get real overgrown and swampy and then lead to nowhere. But it all makes for a colorful New England adventure…

One important thing to note – you will hear gunfire in the fall. There’s a shooting range on the grounds and pheasant hunting on Saturdays is popular in October and November. Wear orange if you can so you don't die. 

I wouldn't recommend these 1555 acres to a hardcore mountain biker - there simply aren’t enough tricky trails to keep a technical rider happy. But it’s just fine for a casual ride…

Bike Stats: 

Total distance: 4.1 miles

Total time: 23:08 minutes

Average speed: 10.5 mph

Max speed: 15.7 mph

View map on Google

The final train has left the yard in Allston

All around the water tank, waitin' for a train

A thousand miles away from home, sleeping in the rain

I walked up to a brakeman, just to give him a line of talk

He said, if you've got money, I'll see that you don't walk

Well, I haven't got a nickel, not a penny, can I show

He said, "Get off you railroad bum", and he slammed the boxcar door...

-Mr. Johnny Cash

Folks…the final train has left the yard in Allston. It’s odd how this story went completely un-reported, considering that it means freight will no longer reach the city by train in any capacity what-so-ever. All the action has been moved to Worcester, which means that freight will be unloaded out west and will be trucked into the city of Boston instead. Yep – more trucks and traffic on the Pike and eventually spilling into the streets of Boston.

With absolutely zero fanfare (except, um…me and my girlfriend), here’s last train to leave the yard (Beacon Park Rail Yard to be exact), never to return…  

So how does any of this help you the average citizen of Boston? It doesn’t - and it won’t. This is about land and money. Here’s the deal; Harvard has about as much bling as the Vatican and therefore can do pretty much whatever the fuck they want. If Harvard wants to kick all the trains out of Allston – something like $200 million should do the trick. Unfortunately, we can’t blame the government or some shady state representative for this deal because the land was owned by CSX, fair and square. 

Before this area was a train yard it was home to the Riverside Trotting Park, drawing crowds of 10,000-12,000 on race days. This park was also used by Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show whenever it came to Boston right up until the early 1890’s when the land was sold to the Railroad.

How long this slice of land will sit dormant is anybody’s guess. Harvard already has plans drawn up for the space (that they keep changing), but they have a history of delaying projects if their gabillion dollar endowment fluctuates by half a percent.  Either way, this new 91 acre neighborhood is most likely going to be named “Allston Landing South” when Harvard gets around to developing it. 

 The grand finale...