Blessed Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus

Jesus H. Christ - can you please stop following me all over the place...and your mom too!

I reside in a neighborhood that is eerily dittoed throughout metro Boston. It’s a mix of middle class and blue collared folk with lots of duplex’s and single family bungalows (not many triple deckers though) - there are also a few decent Victorians and some old Colonial homes scattered about. These communities are prominent in West Roxbury, Quincy, Dedham, Medford, Watertown, Revere and just about every other outlying town. The neighborhoods are not overly gentrified - most likely because they are not on a major T-stop, adjacent to a trendy shopping district or near a major campus. These neighborhoods have lots of “Spas” - the kind that sell butts, Coke and Keno. Ahhh…the lifeblood of my ‘hood. Quite a few Grand Marquis are parked on the streets around here. But the main thing they all share in common is our Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus...

Those crazy Catholics sure have left their mark. These statues exist here as lost religious relics of simpler and holier times. I’m guessing that people looked at priests and the church a little differently back then. Of the dozens that I’ve spotted in my neighborhood it doesn’t seem like any of them are under 25 years old, and many of them must be from the 1970’s or earlier.

  

Little Miss Mary does have others in her flock, usually dudes in robes and shit. Occasionally the big guy even makes an appearance on the scene…

 

At times it’s not Mary or Jesus at all. Other forms of lawn expressionism include the jockey (white), angels, gargoyles, the glass globe, monks, donkey’s and the Buddha…but not a single garden gnome!?!?  What’s up with that – did all the creepy gnomes get stolen and go on trips around the world. Strange.

And I don’t know what this ungodly trio is up to. “Welcome” to Hell maybe… Fuggin pagans.

Occasionally Mary likes to have some friends over over for a party.  Worship me!

If Mary’s owners really really love the Mom Jesus, they’ll build her a shelter…

Or a whole friggin house (I think this one is heated)...

Mary can be found frolicking through the garden on one street…

While she might be all but abandoned in another neighborhood...

‘Merica...Fuck you!

All these photographs were taken well within a mile from my home. As soon as I crossed certain natural barriers leading to more affluent homes the icons and lawn art were quickly replaced with very well maintained shrubbery. Thus I have concluded that all wealthy people are heathens and are going to hell. Rich people make the Jesus sad...

But like the Catholic religion itself, the future of these religious icons are in doubt. I imagine that when one of these houses goes under the knife for a total makeover little Miss Mary is the first thing to hit the bottom of a rented dumpster. It’s sad to think about how many Mary’s have been lost to hipsters and their pagan ways in places like Somerville and Brooklyn – lost forever to the landfills... 

Jesus be with you (and for the record, I’m a Unitarian).  

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Bike and Hike Blog - Martin Burns Wildlife Management Area (Newbury, MA)

I was heading south back towards Boston recently and on a whim I decided to explore the Martin Burns Wildlife Management Area. I had my bike in the back of my vehicle and was aware that an old trolley line coming out of Newburyport had been converted into a rail trail. The trail runs the length of the park and is very flat, very straight and unpaved. It’s an easy ride for just about anyone - bring your bike (or the whole family) to Newpburyport, enjoy a casual ride through the woods and then have lunch in town. Now that's a formula for a perfect New England fall day!

The hilly, rocky terrain throughout much of the park is scattered with poorly drained low areas that are seasonally wet. The landscape has ebbed and flowed with the times. Ancient rock walls meander in all directions; making ghosts out of the orchards and pastures that thrived here centuries ago. Much of the area was clear-cut and then became overgrown - which resulted in a devastating fire. A large portion of the park is in a stage of rehabilitation – “In 2007 land managers began an ambitious program to create young-forest habitat, rejuvenate old-field habitats that were being over-topped with trees, and suppress exotic invasive plants in favor of food-producing native shrubs.” All this effort has created a much healthier and vibrant landscape that keeps fields open and connected to woodland areas where species like the American Woodcock (aka the Timberdoodle…hehe) is making a comeback.

As for me, the average hiker/biker, I enjoyed all the different types of fauna that resulted from these efforts. I’ve been on many a hike in woodland areas that are beautiful and peaceful, but often repetitive in nature. I don't want to see the same stupid pines trees over and over on a hike - I want swamps, lakes, streams, views, fields and all. With all the variety that this park offers, it makes for a fine place to watch plants lurch towards their death as winter approaches...

Martin Burns Wildlife Management Area is not densely packed with trails that crisscross each other all over the terrain. The trails are rarely marked and some of them get real overgrown and swampy and then lead to nowhere. But it all makes for a colorful New England adventure…

One important thing to note – you will hear gunfire in the fall. There’s a shooting range on the grounds and pheasant hunting on Saturdays is popular in October and November. Wear orange if you can so you don't die. 

I wouldn't recommend these 1555 acres to a hardcore mountain biker - there simply aren’t enough tricky trails to keep a technical rider happy. But it’s just fine for a casual ride…

Bike Stats: 

Total distance: 4.1 miles

Total time: 23:08 minutes

Average speed: 10.5 mph

Max speed: 15.7 mph

View map on Google

The final train has left the yard in Allston

All around the water tank, waitin' for a train

A thousand miles away from home, sleeping in the rain

I walked up to a brakeman, just to give him a line of talk

He said, if you've got money, I'll see that you don't walk

Well, I haven't got a nickel, not a penny, can I show

He said, "Get off you railroad bum", and he slammed the boxcar door...

-Mr. Johnny Cash

Folks…the final train has left the yard in Allston. It’s odd how this story went completely un-reported, considering that it means freight will no longer reach the city by train in any capacity what-so-ever. All the action has been moved to Worcester, which means that freight will be unloaded out west and will be trucked into the city of Boston instead. Yep – more trucks and traffic on the Pike and eventually spilling into the streets of Boston.

With absolutely zero fanfare (except, um…me and my girlfriend), here’s last train to leave the yard (Beacon Park Rail Yard to be exact), never to return…  

So how does any of this help you the average citizen of Boston? It doesn’t - and it won’t. This is about land and money. Here’s the deal; Harvard has about as much bling as the Vatican and therefore can do pretty much whatever the fuck they want. If Harvard wants to kick all the trains out of Allston – something like $200 million should do the trick. Unfortunately, we can’t blame the government or some shady state representative for this deal because the land was owned by CSX, fair and square. 

Before this area was a train yard it was home to the Riverside Trotting Park, drawing crowds of 10,000-12,000 on race days. This park was also used by Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show whenever it came to Boston right up until the early 1890’s when the land was sold to the Railroad.

How long this slice of land will sit dormant is anybody’s guess. Harvard already has plans drawn up for the space (that they keep changing), but they have a history of delaying projects if their gabillion dollar endowment fluctuates by half a percent.  Either way, this new 91 acre neighborhood is most likely going to be named “Allston Landing South” when Harvard gets around to developing it. 

 The grand finale...

Bike (and hike) Blog - Stony Brook Reservation

Stony Brook Reservation, a natural urban wonderland (with an edge) straddling West Roxbury and Hyde Park doesn’t get much attention…unless a dead body shows up there. Unfortunately that’s what happened earlier this year with a tragic incident that started in Southie and ended in these Boston woodlands.

Hopefully that won’t stop people from enjoying this landscape which offers biking, hiking, fishing and quality time with nature. Each time I visit this park I’m surprised how few people I see, usually it’s just locals out walking their dogs. It’s obviously not the White Mountains, but for anyone who wants to get away from it all without leaving Boston’s city limits, these 475 acres of hilly terrain are a sweet little oasis.  My favorite feature is a paved track that loops through the park for about 2.5 miles and is suitable for just about any skill level of biking.

Bike Stats:  Distance: 2.5 miles | Total time: 13:22 minutes 

Max speed: 22.9 mph | Ave speed: 11.4 mph

Tracked on Google Maps

Hooooo boy, I whipped around that track like Bigfoot was on my trail. Shit was like a rollycoaster ride! On my second time around I explored some of the single track trails and old carriage lanes at a slower pace. There are actually some challenging little paths with steep rocky inclines that will test the average mountain biker. It won’t be a struggle for someone who bombs down ski slopes in Vermont on two wheels, but for someone like me who has a modest little Specialized with old-school padded brakes and zero suspension – it’s a good time. Stony Brook has similar features to Blue Hills, but it’s not as challenging and is less vertical and sprawling. A group of bikers with varying degrees of experience could have a really fun time at Stony Brook.

If it’s just a casual ride through Mother Nature’s wonders that one seeks, the grass covered carriage trails and meandering paths make for a blissful escape from the rat race.    

Stony Brook Park was imagined by landscape architecht Charles Eliot, a disciple of Frederick Law Omstead. This open space is related to other parks in the Metropolitan Park System of Greater Boston which include Beaver Brook, Blue Hills, Hemlock Gorge and the Middlesex Fells. Only traces of the actual brook remain, although in its glory days it was the water source for most of Boston’s beer with as many as 19 breweries following its banks to Jamaica Plain. By 1910 the majority of the brook outside of the park was buried underground and turned into a nasty sewer.

The first time I visited the park this year I blew out a tire about a quarter mile into the woods. The terrain can get extremely rocky, especially where there’s been lots of erosion. I threw my bike into the back of my Honda and decided to hike a section of the park that I had yet to explore. My style of hiking falls into the category of trailblazing – I’m cannot resist going off trail for a little bush whacking. It’s where all the crazy crap is – from abandoned structures and vehicles to actual antiquities: standing stones, perched boulders and stones circles.  

It's easy to get fooled into thinking that you are hiking through paradise, but this park lies within a major metropolis. And that means you need to stay aware, as there are a couple of little hobo campsites strewn about the park - be safe, and bring a camera...

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Live Street Art at Firebrand Saints in Kendall Square

I’m always on the lookout for street art, whether I’m roaming through Allston or backpacking in Europe. In general I’m a fan of art, I go to museums and galleries on a regular basis - I’ll be dragging my parents around the South End open studios this weekend. But there’s something about the rawness and risk in street art that appeals to me on some deeper level. It’s not just art for arts sake, there’s a message in its simple defiance where it sits so rudely in a public space. There are no board members making decisions as to what's acceptable for the community and doling out commissions to friends. Just some dudes sneaking around in masks in the depth of night slapping shit on walls.

The one problem I have with street art is that I don’t see enough of it! It has come to the point where I have to go to a “hip and happenin’” after work spot in Kendall Square to see examples…

As much as I’d rather be out hunting for street art, I gotta give props to Firebrand Saints for hosting the Brooklyn based duo Enzo and Nio and letting them tear up a corner of the restaurant.  Also – free PBR.

Just don’t call it graffiti.  Nah…I’m just kidding, you can call it whatever you want…

Not all this artwork is by Enzo and Nio, others have been here before. And just like on the rough and tumble streets - early art joins the latter and eventually it all morphs into one giant mural...

Pop in to Firebrand Saints and check the shit out for yourself, the place is right by the base of the Longfellow Bridge…

The Pizza & Burger Battle of Harvard Square

In simpler times - when I found myself in Harvard Square and had an urge for a slice of pizza I'd hit up Pinocchio’s. If burgers were on my mind, I went directly to Charlie’s Kitchen. But this ain't 1999 people, Harvard Square has stepped up its restaurant game across the entire food chain. But I want to focus on what’s important – pizza and burgers.

If I was only allowed into one bar/restaurant in the Square (which could happen) I would pick Charlie’s Kitchen. They serve a flat patty type burger, nothing fancy here – but you cannot beat the value. A cheeseburger with fries is $4.00! In a region where $16 hamburgers are the norm, that’s pretty friggin’ awesome. Want a more exotic offering between your buns? Try their double homemade turkey burger with stuffing ($8). But it’s not just the burgers that keep me coming back to Charlie’s – they have the best Jukebox in town (no debate) and a great outdoor beer garden with a fine selection of craft beers.

see what i did there with the fries  ^  i invented that 

Pinocchio’s Pizza and Subs have been slinging slices to the Crimson kids for over 30 years. So, yeah – they are doing something right. It also doesn’t hurt that they are practically on the Harvard campus (74 Winthrop St.). Pinocchio’s serves two types of pizza; Sicilian and Neapolitan - and their subs are the best grinders in the Square. Normally I’m a Neapolitan kinda guy, you can hear me bitching about the lack of NY style pizza in Boston on a weekly basis. But since my first visit to Pinocchio’s I’ve been enjoying their Sicilian slices, and haven’t even bothered to try the other style. I usually opt for the spinach slice and dust it generously with red pepper flakes and parm cheese.

pie on a paper plate - perfect!

Charlie’s might be legendary, but Bartley’s Gourmet Burgers is actually famous, or so I’m told.  The burgers are homemade, fat and sloppy numbers and each one is named for a famous person. The “Dropkick Murphy” burger comes with swiss cheese, grilled sauerkraut, russian dressing and fries ($11). Bartley’s makes for a great first date for teenagers in love; there’s all kinds of crazy crap on the walls to break the ice and they specialize in frappes and lime rickeys. 

That’s the old school round-up, now let’s talk newbies.  Flat Patties offers a house ground quarter pound patty for $3.95. Service is quick and friendly, the burger satisfies all cravings and the price is right. Flat Patties is the perfect quickie burger to snarf down on the walk to class or the T. For something a little snazzier, try their Forager: sautéed mushrooms, swiss cheese and horseradish sauce ($5.25). Another pizza option that sits on campus is Oggi Gourmet. Located in the Holyoke Center, their pizza has been called “traditional” and “innovative” but I don’t think it stands up to the other options in the Square. They offer three different slices a day – cheese, roni and a special. The special slice I ordered had Chinese sausage, peppers and mushrooms. It did not get me jazzed. The crust held up nicely, I was pleased with that, but the toppings seemed kind of desperate and played out... 

 meh i say...meh.

Here’s a question: how long will the current burger craze last, and can a place like Tasty Burger survive in a high rent space like the Garage? I give it a few years. This place is huge – two floors with room for a friggin’ pool table in the basement! Their standard offering is the Big Tasty, a third pound natural beef patty with cheese, lettuce, pickle, onion, tomato and Tasty sauce ($5.25). Tasty Burger also has a funky spot in an old gas station right by Fenway Park. After a few too many beers at the ole ballgame, and with my judgment clouded from a nasty loss to the Yankees, I opted for the Blue Collar Burger ($5.75). This is what I learned – one does not need to deep fry a burger and pile it with spicy mustard and pickles for it to be enjoyable. Ugh – that thing fucked me up for the rest of the night. Your best bet is to keep it simple at Tasty; the burgers are naturally flavorful and juicy and don't need a ton of toppings. Hint - order the thin cut onion rings.

Otto might just be my new pizza crush for Harvard Square. This much-loved Portland Maine import came to town with much hullabaloo, and it seems to be living up to the hype. I’m a traditionalist with an open mind, but I was still surprised by how much I enjoyed their butternut squash and ricotta cheese slice. It always seems like there’s a new kind of slice to try, and they are all pretty damn fine – so take a chance and live a little.

There are a couple other options in the Square for pizza and burgers. Cambridge 1 serves coal fired pizzas in a comfortable setting and the Russell House Tavern serves an 8 ounce grass fed burger on an English muffin with cheddar, bacon and caramelized onions.

I know this a lot to chew on. I didn’t even mention Grendel’s Den (because I’ve never had their burger) but I love that place. Anyways, the next time I’m in the Square – I’ll probably be here at Charlie's…

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